Entertainment Sex, Love & Relationships

The Case for Em & Fab

March 12, 2012

If you follow Love & Hip Hop’s Emily B. on Instagram or Twitter, then you probably saw her post the pic that has sparked an online debate regarding her relationship with rapper, Fabolous. Emily is one of my favorite personalities on the show, besides Chrissy and Yandy, and I think she is also one of the most truthful. It takes a lot for a person to open up about their relationship to anyone much less millions of viewers.

I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with the story, but if not…here you go… Basically, Emily had “left” Fab because after about 10 years of dating, he still failed to acknowledge their relationship and fully committ. She moved into her own place with her kids and started a new beginning. But by the end of the second season of the show, she had started dating him again after he demonstrated the change she was looking for. Of course her cast mates and fans of the show criticized her decision and she found herself constantly defending their relationship. Their recent photo has left some questioning exactly how many chances a person should get before you leave them altogether.

Now I’ve been on just about every side of the fence when it comes to this relationship thing. I’ve been cheated on…I’ve been the cheater….I’ve been the other woman…I’ve played the games…I’ve dealt with harsh criticism and opinions…I’ve dealt with lack of acknowledgement…and I’ve been confused. Need I say more? The fact of the matter is that EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFERENT and I’ve learned that you can never say what you will or won’t do until you’re faced with that situation.

In Emily’s case, I feel like she knew what she was getting into by dating a rapper. Does he get a pass for cheating? Of course not! What I’m saying is that you have to consider if you are willing to put up with what comes with a person’s lifestyle before you enter into a relationship with them. I think perhaps they should have opted for an open relationship or set certain boundaries when it comes to third parties. No record label wants to sell the image of a rapper who is in a committed relationship…that would hurt his star potential. I think what I would have done was probably just keep things open with no attachments to protect myself from the drama. But then again, once you’re attached nothing can really protect you.

I applaud Emily for standing up for her relationship and it takes a strong woman (or man) to be with a person after being cheated on or publicly embarrassed. And my answer to the question of how many chances a person should get is simple – how ever many you feel they need. We are all human and will make mistakes until the day we die. Some people need more time than others to get it right. You have to set your own boundaries on what you will and will not accept and just go from there.

What do you think?

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  • Reply Angela Irving March 12, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    I agree with you totally. It is a very brave act on her part to even open up about her situation. I don’t think we should beat her up for her choice, but respect them. She has a lot to consider. For one there are children involved and plus her time and energy that has been used throughout their relationship plays a factor. Ultimately, it is HER decision and no one can make that for her. Wheter it is good or bad, it is still her decision and life.

    • Reply Jessica March 12, 2012 at 6:08 pm

      Thanks for your comment! I agree that it is her life. I guess reality stars should be ready for the criticism that comes with being in the limelight.

  • Reply Melissa March 13, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I’ve come to respect Emily, both for putting herself out there and for wanting to fight for a relationship that is a difficult one to be committed to one person.

    I have to completely 1000% disagree with the idea of it being ok to have an open relationship in order for it to work. Everyone has a choice of rather they want to commit or not, added temptation doesn’t make that an excuse. Gorgeous men deal with this temptation daily, the average looking rapper is dealing with it due to his career. And at even higher heights of course but still it’s not an excuse and if nothing else as a man, think about yourself enough to not put your own body out there.

    Also it’s that misguided mentality that keeps rap the way it is. Rap music wasn’t always about girls girls girls hit whomever and whatever you want when you want. It’s what the fans choose to support, therefore the image and ideal that we continue to be fed. Lastly there are plenty of artists that are given an image of being a player although they aren’t one in real life. I don’t agree with that anymore than I agree with an open relationship. But at least if they’re going to play the game they’re not selling themselves totally short.

    So no, no excuse for Fab to cheat and judging by her I doubt that a committed me and you only relationship wasn’t discussed, some guys will try to get away with what they will and blame the female for being dumb enough to believe them. Her choosing to work it out with him and even if she decided to overlook that would be her business, though I wouldn’t agree. But I commend her because while people think she’s stupid for even considering getting back with him, in reality she’s not settling. She wants to be with this man that she loves but not about to live with his cheating. Now I hope if he cheats again she’ll be able to move forward but yeah me and you and that’s it, don’t care what your career is.

    • Reply Jessica March 13, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      I definitely agree with some of the points you made. In the post I mentioned that a person deserves however many chances you would like to give them…but I don’t know if after 10 years and a child I would still be around UNLESS we made certain agreements. Then again who knows what conversations they’ve had among each other!

    What do you think?