I know, I know…not another Think Like a Man post, but I’ve been meaning to post about this for a minute now. It just kept slipping my mind.
If you’ve read the book or seen the movie, you know that Steve Harvey suggests ladies wait at least 90 days before having sex with a man. If you haven’t seen it, this post has some spoilers…sorry!
The idea behind this rule is that women will cut down on the number of men they sleep with AND will prevent themselves from giving it up to someone who only wants to get it in (trying to keep it PG-13 here).
But therein lies the problem…
Harvey borrows this concept from his former employer, Ford Motor Company. In chapter eleven of his bestseller, Harvey states:
“Ford’s policy was that you had to work at least ninety days before they’d cover your health insurance; this was the plant management saying to me, we will provide you benefits after you have proven to me you are worthy—work hard, show up on time, follow your supervisor’s orders, and get along with your co-workers for ninety days, and then you can get dental and medical coverage.”
Ok…let’s see what else he says…
“So if Ford and the government won’t give a man benefits until he’s been on the job and proven himself, why, ladies, are you passing out benefits to men before they’ve proven themselves worthy?…By benefits, in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m talking about sex. And if you’re giving your benefits to a guy who’s only been on the job for a week or two, you’re making a grave mistake.”
On the surface it seems like a good concept, right? Wrong!
What happens is that a woman who swears by this mentality is essentially saying that the highest benefit she can offer a man is sex. The greatest benefit a woman can offer a man should not be her body. And furthermore, anyone can have sex. You don’t have to know someone’s life or career history to have sex with them. The connection between both people is what makes it special and sacred.
Ford is a company – totally different from a relationship. People are after more than just sex when they look for a mate. Really, sex is (or should be) relatively low on the list because you can get good sex from any person on the street! Qualities that touch you on deep mental, emotional and spiritual levels is what makes a person truly fall in love.
I don’t know if you noticed it or not, but she (Meagan Good’s character, Mya) did several things for him after a date or so that you wouldn’t normally do for someone you just met – like sending his music to her uncle so that he can resurrect his career – but she didn’t have sex so she could have “self-respect”? And she was set on having sex with him on the 90th day, and even broke her rule after he told her he loved her. He also wanted the sex and was willing to go along with her rules to get it, he had no intention of making things “official”.
My point is this – no you should not go around giving your goodies to every guy that takes you on a date. However, you should look at the relationship as a learning experience, not something where everything has to follow a schedule.But my most important point is:
You can offer a man so much more than your body, so don’t lower your worth by calculating it with what’s between your legs.
What did you think of the movie? Have you ever practiced the 90-Day Rule?